Dying to Live, Living to Die — Part 1

KLP
2 min readApr 7, 2021

“What we call the beginning, is often the end, and to make an end, is to make a new beginning.” — T.S. Eliot

Welcome to my blog. I wish it had been under better circumstances, but it is as it is… I was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, and am currently undergoing chemotherapy to hopefully prolong my life. As a now-retired psychologist, I feel it is important for me (and hopefully you) to share my feelings, thoughts and experiences as I go through this time in my life.

This blog is meant for people going through the same challenges, their family members and others who care about them, as well as their caregivers. It can really be for anyone, as everyone will face her or his own mortality eventually. Hopefully it will help people understand what it means, how it feels to go through this time of life.

I’ll talk about how dying is different from what it feels like to lose loved ones, about explaining how you feel to others, about the loved ones’ perspective, about what the dying need (other than just a “bucket list”), about what caregivers really need to understand, and I’ll explore whether a “good death” is even possible. Along the way, I’ll share my experiences…the ongoing ups-and-downs, the frustrations, the heart-aches, the joys (there are some!), the insecurities and fears.

I hope you will join me on this roller-coaster ride as I try to navigate my way through facing the end of life to living life as fully as possible.

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KLP

As a now-retired psychologist, I was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, and am currently undergoing chemotherapy to hopefully prolong my life.